Cop pulls man over for suspicion of drunk driving. Cop: Sir have you been drinking? Man: No. Cop: Papers. Man: Scissors, I win!

The driver is safer when the roads are dry; the roads are safer when the driver is dry.

The speedway ends at the cemetery.

Education is important, but we’re to the point where almost everyone knows they shouldn’t drink and drive. The people who are still doing it are choosing to do it. The most effective way to deal with them is to arrest them.

The greater part of my official time is spent on investigating collisions between propelled vehicles, each on its own side of the road, each sounding its horn, and each stationary.

Road sense is the offspring of courtesy and the parent of safety.

Talking on a cell phone distracts motorists as much as having a blood alcohol level of .08%, and it’s shockingly common. Some studies report that as many as 10% of drivers on the road are talking on their phones at any given moment. If your state has yet to ban cell phone use while driving, it’s likely that it will in the near future

Recklessness is a species of crime and should be so regarded on our streets and highways.

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver

Intexticated: distracted by the act of texting to such a degree that one seems intoxicated.