Your natural response to “Good morning,” is “Shut up!”

You could purchase a new bike just by recycling the bottles around your bed.

All day long your motto is, “Never again.”

The bathroom reminds you of a carnival barker shouting, “Step right up and give it whirl!”

You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in a fetal position.

You set aside an entire morning to spend some quality time with your toilet.

You’d rather have a pencil jammed up your nose than be exposed to sunlight.

Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as chugging a glass of fresh paint.

Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to “stay still.”

“When did hangovers start lasting two days?”