Always do sober what you said you would do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. – Ernest Hemingway

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind – Humphrey Bogart

The nations of the West also have their own intoxicant, made from grain soaked in water…Alas, what wonderful ingenuity vice possesses! A method has actually been discovered for making even water intoxicated.

– Pliny the Elder, describing the barbarians’ strange imitation wine

When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.

– Dave Barry

All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.

– Homer Simpson

They who drink beer will think beer.

– Washington Irving

A good local pub has much in common with a church, except that a pub is warmer, and there’s more conversation.

– Anonymous

There are more old drunks than old doctors.

– Anonymous

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

– Anonymous

Beauty lies in the hands of the beerholder.

– Anonymous