If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.– Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.– Dean Martin

Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire.– David Rains Wallace

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.– David Moulton

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.– David Daye

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking– Dave Barry

When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.– Dave Barry

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.– Dave Barry

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.– Dave Barry

The government will fall that raises the price of beer.– Czech Saying