“Beer. If you can’t taste it, why bother!” — Anonymous

“Homer no function beer well without.” — Homer Simpson

“Ah beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel if you will.” — Homer Simpson

“Smithers, this beer isn’t working, I don’t feel any younger or funkier.” — Mr. Burns, on The Simpsons

“You can’t seriously want to ban alcohol. It tastes great, makes women appear more attractive, and makes a person virtually invulnerable to criticism.” — Mayor Quimby, on The Simpsons

“I have a simple philosophy. Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches.” — Alice Roosevelt Longworth

“The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom.” — William Blake

“I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.” — W.C. Fields

“I know the truth is in between the 1st and 40th drink.” — Tori Amos

“If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.” — Samuel Butler