“May women with stubble,
At least have big bubbles!”

“Here’s to lying, cheating, stealing, and drinking…
If you’re going to lie, lie for a friend.
If you’re going to cheat, cheat death.
If you’re going to steal, steal a heart.
If you’re going to drink, drink with me.”

“May all your ups and downs be between the sheets.”

“To nipples… without them, titties wouldn’t have a point!”

“Gentlemen!
To a good selection,
no rejection,
a strong erection,
a clean injection,
and no infection!”

“To our wives and our girlfriends,
may they never meet.”

“Here’s to honor…
hitting honor, getting honor, staying honor…
and if you can’t come in her… come honor”

“Here’s to you and here’s to me, And here’s to all the girls that lick us where we pee!”

“Here’s to Hell! May my stay there be as much fun as my way there!”

“Here’s to the ideal woman; Who could ask for more? She’s deaf ‘n dumb, oversexed, and owns a liquor store.”