“Friends may come and friends may go
Liquor comes to soothe the blow”

“When I shoot it down the hatch
I can make my booty clap”

“Inny Minny Miny Moe
May these shots reveal the Hoe”

“If I should stumble out this bar
I pray this night is worth the scar!”

“May women with stubble,
At least have big bubbles!”

“Here’s to lying, cheating, stealing, and drinking…
If you’re going to lie, lie for a friend.
If you’re going to cheat, cheat death.
If you’re going to steal, steal a heart.
If you’re going to drink, drink with me.”

“May all your ups and downs be between the sheets.”

“To nipples… without them, titties wouldn’t have a point!”

“Gentlemen!
To a good selection,
no rejection,
a strong erection,
a clean injection,
and no infection!”

“To our wives and our girlfriends,
may they never meet.”